


Things That Start With B

by orphan_account



Category: Muppet Show, Sesame Street (TV)
Genre: Comment Fic, Humor, Let's Get Gay Married Comment Fest, M/M, Slash, Weddings, muppets - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-28
Updated: 2011-06-28
Packaged: 2017-10-20 19:55:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/216550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ernie is naming things that start with the letter B.  Bert thinks doing this in the middle of their wedding is a bad idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things That Start With B

**Author's Note:**

> [Let's Get Gay Married Commentfic Meme](http://bree-black.livejournal.com/84411.html) prompt by Thistlerose: Ernie/Bert, bickering all the way down the aisle

"Bowtie. Big Bird. Bouquet. Bear. That's Fozzie. Hi, Fozzie!"

"Ernie, what are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm finding things that start with the letter B."

"Ernie, we are  _walking down the aisle together_. We are supposed to be solemnly thinking about the future!"

"I am! Baby, that starts with B, too!"

"You want to have a baby?!"

"Well, not right now. We're walking down the aisle, Bert. Heh heh heh heh. Hey, there's Bunsen and Beaker. Hi, Bunsen! Hi, Beaker! Did you know both of your names start with the letter B? Are you getting married, too?"

"Ernie!"

"No, that starts with an E, Bert. I know the two letters look similar, but E doesn't have those nifty little curved bits in front of the short sticking-out parts. See, I'll draw both letters in the air for you with my finger."

"Ernie, now is not the time to draw letters. We are getting married, right now, this minute. We have walked down the aisle and we are standing in front of the minister!"

"Hi, Minister Sarah!"

"Stop waving!"

"Minister Sarah, our friends are all here today because my pal and I want to get married. We've been together for forty-two years, you know."

"It seems like longer."

"What was that, Bert?"

"Nothing."

"Anyway, we've been together for a long, long time, having lots of fun with our beds and our bathtub and bananas stuck in our -- "

"Ernie!"

" -- ears. So, Minister Sarah, I just wanted to let you know that things that start with the letter B have been some of my favorite things ever, even though Rubber Duckie starts with R and D, and pigeon starts with P, so I guess we've both got favorite things that start with other letters. I don't think they'll feel left out, though, because Rubber Duckie and Bert's pigeons already know my most favorite person in the world is my best buddy Bert right here. He is the most important thing that starts with B in my whole life. Isn't that right, Bert?"

"Huh. Sorry, something stuck in my eye."

"So, Minister Sarah, will you please marry us? Because now that it's legal where we live, I want to spend the rest of my life with my best buddy Bert. Beloved starts with B, too. Isn't that neat?"

"Oh,  _Ernie_."


End file.
